January 19, 2010

January 11, 2010

Quote of the day: "Conflict cannot survive without your participation." - Wayne Dyer

I stumbled upon Wayne Dyer one day out of boredom. I was watching PBS (out of boredom, people) and he was holding a live seminar on TV. At first, I thought, "Ugh, another religious sermon." But then I really got into it. Everything he said was the truth! Every word out of his mouth appealed to me; he made me look at the world with brand new eyes. (Yes, like the Paramore album.) He truly is genius. He looks at the world in an optimistic, yet realistic way, without sounding harsh or too realistic. He sounds real and I believe he words he says. 

Recently, I have been going through some friend drama. And I realized, teenagers thrive on drama. All I wanted to talk about was my drama. I was so ecstatic to finally be the victim; to finally have the whole world on my side. And it's true, the other person was in the wrong, but I should never have looked at the scenario like that. Yes, attention is good. But using it for the wrong reasons is not good. 

Although this drama has cost me one less friend, I truly think it was for the better. What did I learn? How am I different? Has he/she learned anything? Am I "better off" without this person in my life? I always ask myself these questions whenever I go through something that has the potential to be a life lesson. This time, I definitely learned who to pick as friends and who to leave as acquaintances. Some people might be good to share your weekend gossip with and gush about your crushes, and other people might be better for when you're experiencing life-changing situations. You have to learn who to give your trust to. Because if you give it to the wrong people, they may end up using it against you. 

But, enough about drama! The sun is out, the snow is melting, and I am in the mood for a revelation! I need change! My goal this month is to try new hair and makeup tips, and maybe sport some long-awaited fashion sense! My advice for all you readers: try something new. Live and let live. Try something you have been wanting to try for a long time. Step outside of your comfort zone. Because I promise, when you do, it will definitely be worth it!!! :) 

For now, 

B.  

Quote of the day: "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." - Confucious

Secrets... just that word makes me cringe. When I think of the word "secret", I always think of hurt. I think of pain. I think of rejection and past and present and future... when I hear the word "secret", a rush of emotions hit me. 

Everyone has secrets. Whether they're good secrets or bad secrets... everyone has them. The leak of a secret can lead to LOTS of drama. Whether it was your secret to tell or not. When I think of secrets, I also think of lies. A lot of secrets are kept, thinking they will never get out. Some can be about a lie, like breaking a table or hitting the car. But others, deep, dark, TOP SECRET secrets, can cause a world of hurt if they are unleashed. 

I, of many people in this world, have a lot of secrets. Not all of them are bad. But some of them are. I am a typical human being! Most people might think that a lot of the things I consider "secret" aren't a big deal, but they are. For instance, my laptop is like my own little case of secrets. There are probably hundreds of secrets in there. I don't let anyone -- and I do mean ANYONE -- look at my computer. 

So, I guess the big question is, why do we keep secrets? Is it to protect ourselves? Is it to protect other people? There are so many reasons to keep a secret. One of the main reasons I would keep a secret is to either protect a friend or to protect myself. I consider myself a multi-layered person, in which I don't just fall under one category, I fall under dozens. And that is why my secrets are so important to me. They all add up to make me who I am, and if the wrong secret is leaked, I feel like I'm naked in front of the world. 

So, once again, what do you think of when you hear the word "secret"? Lies, trust, betrayal, hurt pain, rejection, past, present, future, evil, good, drama... The list goes on and on. I feel like secrets are a big part of makes us who we are. Because without secrets, everyone would know exactly who we are, and then what fun would that be? I ask all my readers: think about the secrets you're keeping. Are they helping you? Would it really be that bad if you told the person you're keeping them from? Honesty is a key factor in being a good person. Because without honesty, the world would be nothing more than one giant chaotic secret. Although secrets and honesty don't exactly go hand in hand, one thing you should know is: the punishment will always be easier if you simply tell the truth than if you lie and keep secrets. 

For now, 

B. 

January 5, 2010

Quote of the day: "Never let anyone pull you so low as to hate them." (Not word for word) - Martin Luther King, Jr. 

When I told my friend "F" (for her protection) that I was going to write a memoir about high school -- or, technically, how much I hate the popular kids -- she just laughed. When I told my father, he told me, "Bri, I don't know why you let them get to you so much. They're rude and think they're better than everyone... so what. You can't change that. Just let it go." 

I have been hearing that phrase a lot lately. "Just let it go." What does that phrase even mean? To me, it means realizing that something is out of your control and being okay with it. Or, deciding that something isn't worth the pain and deciding to accept what has happened/happening/is going to happen. Either way, it's about accepting things the way they are or are going to be. Life won't always be perfect, so we have to make the best of the hand that we're dealt. 

I really do believe that everything happens for a reason. At least, that makes me sleep better at night. When my dog died -- the day before my 14th birthday, and I had spend my birthday getting her cremated -- I couldn't understand why. But I understand now that if my dog hadn't of died, I wouldn't have gotten the dog I have now, and the dog I have now would probably have died in the pound. I don't exactly believe that my dog died for a reason, but if she hadn't died, things in the future wouldn't have happened. I believe simply this: "The things that happen now happen so that things can happen later." (Okay, I said "happen" like four times, but that's the only way to get it across!) When I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", one of the characters said, "We are meant to lose the people we love, because otherwise how would we know just how important they really are?" And I believe that, word for word. 

In the past year, there have been a lot of deaths. Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, DJ AM, Brittany Murphy... to name a few. And I think their deaths has taught me to appreciate everything while I am alive. My life sucks sometimes -- even bad enough to want to end it, sometimes -- but I just have to take a deep breath and get a big hug from my daddy, and everything is fine. So, for all my blog readers, remember this: As hard as life is, it could always get worse, so appreciate it now!!! 

Much Love, 

B. 

December 17, 2009

Quote of the day: "When you think your world is crashing down, remember that life goes on. And maybe, just maybe, it will be for the better."

Sometimes life sucks. If there is one thing that I have learned, life isn't going to be wonderful all of the time. It's going to hurt and it's going to suck. Sometimes, you might just want it to end all together. But no matter what, we have to keep going. We have to keep living and learning and making mistakes. Sometimes we have to trudge through the mud before we can get to the can get to the ground. And all the trudging teaches us to enjoy it while we're walking on the land. 

In my life, well, in my 16 years I have lived so far, I have learned so many lessons. And one of the hardest to learn is that friends come and go. You might think that it's the end of the world when you have a falling out with a friend, but you have to learn that if it's meant to be, somehow the person will find a way to stay in your life. If your friend can accept you after everything you've been through, I consider that a true friend. But if a friend gives up on you because of a few fights or a some rough patches, then they didn't deserve you anyway. 

Sorry this post is so short. :( I will right more soon. 

For now, 

B. 

December 11, 2009

Quote of the day : "Fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class. Make babies or make art. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride..." - Solbeam

One of the hardest things to live with in life is hurting the people you love. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, it still burns a hole in your heart than can be patched over, but never really gets whole again. In the end, you're still left with a hole in your heart. When you're young, you often do things, horrible things, without even thinking. You might think they won't have that bad of an outcome or you might think that they won't hurt anyone, and when they do, you have two choices: either think "Oh well, it's not like I did it on purpose" or you can accept the consequences that come with making decisions without thinking. If we lose someone out of our life forever because of our decisions, we're just going to have to live with that. Because we often act without thinking, we can lifelong consequences.

I have hurt and lost many people in my life due to acting without thinking. I might have thought that the decision I made wasn't that dramatic, but it turned to have a dramatic outcome. It turned out to completely lose someone or lose their trust. And 99% of the time, that decision could have been preventable. That's the worst part: that this whole thing could have been prevented!!!

To the people I have lost in my life, the people I have hurt, and the people I still want to keep in my life: I am sorry. I am sorry for not thinking when I did what I did, I am sorry I didn't think of how all of this would affect you. I am sorry for being so selfish and only thinking of myself. I love you and I didn't want you to leave/I want you to stay. Thank you for being my friend, and I hope I can make it up to you somehow in the future!!

Enough with the sap, I am very excited about Christmas. And because it's Christmas, I want to send out a message to all of my friends and family and other important people in my life: THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU ALL VERY DEARLY! HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!

Best wishes,

B.

December 10, 2009

Quote of the day: "Realize what's important in your life. What you can live with, and what you can't live without." 

Hey readers! Life is going great for me. If there is one thing I love, it's the Christmas season! Coming in from the freezing cold with soaking wet shoes, the house constantly smelling of baking, and lots of love to go around! Our Christmas tree is put up, but it's still empty underneath. As I have stated many times, my family is convinced we're not "celebrating" Christmas this year. Well, isn't that a load of crap? Christmas doesn't have to have presents. But skipping it all together is beyond ridiculous!!! 

My favorite part of the Christmas season is definitely being with my family. My family is loud, crazy, obnoxious, and never disappoints! Especially my dad. I am a spitting image of my dad. I used to be in denial. I used to say, "Oh, whatever, I am nothing like dad!" But the older I get, the more I realize just how much like him I really am! Here's a quote from one of my dad's favorite songs, "Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews: 

I am Rosemary's granddaughter

The spitting image of my father

And when the day is done

My momma is still my biggest fan

Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy

But I've got friends who love me

And they knew just where I stand

It's all a part of me

And that's who I am 

I am more like my father than I can ever explain. And this year, I am going to stop denying it! 

Holiday wishes, 

B.