One of the hardest things to live with in life is hurting the people you love. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, it still burns a hole in your heart than can be patched over, but never really gets whole again. In the end, you're still left with a hole in your heart. When you're young, you often do things, horrible things, without even thinking. You might think they won't have that bad of an outcome or you might think that they won't hurt anyone, and when they do, you have two choices: either think "Oh well, it's not like I did it on purpose" or you can accept the consequences that come with making decisions without thinking. If we lose someone out of our life forever because of our decisions, we're just going to have to live with that. Because we often act without thinking, we can lifelong consequences.
I have hurt and lost many people in my life due to acting without thinking. I might have thought that the decision I made wasn't that dramatic, but it turned to have a dramatic outcome. It turned out to completely lose someone or lose their trust. And 99% of the time, that decision could have been preventable. That's the worst part: that this whole thing could have been prevented!!!
To the people I have lost in my life, the people I have hurt, and the people I still want to keep in my life: I am sorry. I am sorry for not thinking when I did what I did, I am sorry I didn't think of how all of this would affect you. I am sorry for being so selfish and only thinking of myself. I love you and I didn't want you to leave/I want you to stay. Thank you for being my friend, and I hope I can make it up to you somehow in the future!!
Enough with the sap, I am very excited about Christmas. And because it's Christmas, I want to send out a message to all of my friends and family and other important people in my life: THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU ALL VERY DEARLY! HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!
Best wishes,
B.
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