December 4, 2009

Quote of the day: "Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

For about 3 years, I thought God was punishing me. In elementary school, I had this persona that I was better than everyone and I got every waking thing that I wanted. Then I spent 3 years watching everyone get exactly what they wanted, while I got nothing. It was a tragic thing to live through. Truth is, I barely did. 

So you see, I thought that 3 years of complete torture was God (if there is a God) punishing me for the way I acted before. How could my life turn completely around like that? Just like we wonder what happens after death, or why things happen the way they do, Brianna Rausch blamed God. 

I have a good life. I go to school everyday from 8:30 to 3:30, come home and do chores and homework, and then I write. Actually, most of the time I write and then I do chores, but you get the picture. I have a routine. Almost every day has the same routine, but not every day is the same. Every day is unique, but it still has the same routine. If you start off with the same ingredients for chicken noodle soup, that doesn't mean that every soup you make with that recipe will taste exactly the same, right?

Anyway, my point is... I truly do have a lot of things in my life to be thankful for. But as a teenager, nothing is good enough for me. I wished I was thinner or that my parents would let me do more things or that I wish my family had more money. In the end, I just end up wishing and wishing for things that I don't have. My family says to just be happy with what I have, because I already have a lot more than most people. But, like a teenager, it's never enough for me. You could have all the money and privileges in the world but that still won't guarantee you happiness. I can complain every single waking minute about not having a boyfriend -- which I do! -- but that won't make me happy. In the end, you do have to be happy with what you have because all the wishing in the world won't make a difference. Only you can make a difference. 

Today is Friday, my favorite day of the week. I am going to go home and do chores and eat food and then take a nice long nap. (If nobody interrupts me, that is.) I will blog more on Monday, December 7. 

For now, 

B.